Failing Up
I know it's been a while since I've posted an update here, but so much has been going on, and I've been trying to process my feelings and come to terms with everything, which hasn't been easy. I should have just started writing this post to begin with—writing is how I truly process things anyway. I'm not sure where to begin, so I'll start with the bottom line: I quit the trial. I feel so ashamed of myself that I couldn't finish it, that I couldn't push through and stick it out. I feel like I have failed myself, failed my readers, and failed my endo community. I have been considering quitting the trial for a few months now. I think I've mentioned that before, but I was trying to push through, telling myself it would get better. But here's the thing: It wasn't getting better. It seemed like the longer I was on the drug, the worse I got. Cramping and stabbing pains every day. Bleeding almost every day. Days I was so tired, getting out of bed s