And we're back!
For some reason, no one ever gets this reference and it makes me so sad. If you got the reference in this week's title, please hit me up. Come over and let's drink wine together.
Publix Savannah Women's Half Marathon. I finished my first half marathon of the year, which was also my first since being on the trial meds. Since I started them, it's been an interesting and difficult ride for me when it comes to running. At the beginning of the year, I set a time goal for this race. I wanted to PR (that's a personal record, in case you're not familiar with the running jargon), and I had a very specific training plan to help me get there. But being on the trial meds made it virtually impossible for me to follow the plan. I wasn't able to get in enough quality runs to actually make noticeable improvements on my time. There were many days, especially in the first few weeks after I started the meds, that I did not feel well enough to get out bed, much less run. And there were many more days where running was a chore I only pushed through because I was determined to at least complete the race and I knew I had to get the miles in. I realized in March that there was just no way I was going to PR in this race, which was incredibly disappointing. I felt really down about myself, but I adjusted my goals and decided to do what I could with what I have, my main goals being to run a consistent pace and finish strong, which I think I did. More importantly, I finished with no mid-race or post-race flare ups! I don't know if that was luck or the meds or both, but I was and am so grateful for that. I'll also take this opportunity to shout out my sister-in-law for being awesome and braving the race with me and hanging with me in Savannah. I really lucked out when I joined the Weaver clan. She also, once again, took the only usable photos of me running (I am notoriously terrible at race photos).
Moving day. We moved exactly one day after I got back from Savannah, so that was bad timing on my part. But I also made it through the move with no flare ups. Don't get me wrong, I took a lot of ibuprofen, because I was having severe cramps a lot of the time (probably my body protesting having to do so much physical labor that soon after a race...), but I did not have to stop helping with the move nor did I have to take prescription pain meds, so that is also good. Unrelated to the trial, but I have to tell you that we absolutely LOVE our new place! We have a screened-in porch that overlooks the lake here, and it is so peaceful. I had to spend some time with my heating pad earlier today, but when I was lying on the couch, I was also able to look outside at the lake and the ducks, and it's just so peaceful, it kind of took my mind off the pain. Then when the pain eased up, I took the dog for a walk and SURPRISE! Turtle party. Sometimes, you just have to appreciate the little things. Today, it was the turtles.
ALL THE FEELS. As I said before, I have been all up in my feelings for the past few weeks. I think the trial meds are partly to blame—they have made me feel more emotions than normal and I don't really know what to do with that. 
I'm usually pretty stone-faced (RBF sisters, UNITE!), but lately, I find myself crying at commercials and all that crap. They have also increased some of my endo symptoms (namely fatigue, cramps, and constant spotting), which has been rough. That combined with all the race day feelings (starting line nerves, fear of having a flare up and being unable to finish, how to deal with the disappointment if I can't finish, general mid-race panic when I realize that I've run eight miles but still have five more to run, the surge of motivation when the finish is near, and finally, the relief and happiness that comes with finishing—you know, your typical race day stuff...) AND THEN the feelings that come with moving out of the first and only place Dave and I have ever lived together (and lived for nine years) has just been a lot to handle. Moving especially got to me, thinking about where we were in life when we moved in together and where we are now and where we have plans to go and the fact that even though this trial has really thrown me (and us) for a loop, Dave is always there reminding me why I am doing this and just being generally understanding and awesome. I know endo is the end of many marriages and relationships, even when it's been there from the beginning as is our case, so I'm just really proud of us. I don't mean that to sound braggy or anything, but dammit, I can be proud!
So, anyway, that's where I am. I'm going to credit the trial meds with me having no major flare ups for the past two weeks but also with me being an emotional wreck. Please don't judge me if we're hanging out and I get choked up at something stupid, just give me a minute to get control of myself. Also, maybe pour me a glass of wine.
Until next week.
Yours,
Test Subject 521-002
So, anyway, I took last week off, though I guess I should really say "off," because it wasn't a vacation by any means—we were moving to a new place (more about that later), and I just didn't have time. I did miss writing this blog last week, though. It's been really cathartic and therapeutic to get these thoughts out of my mind and these feelings off my chest. And it's even better knowing that someone is actually reading. I love hearing your feedback, and I love that I've been able to start some conversations. If you're reading right now, much appreciation. Thank you. But that's enough feelings for now! With the move and the meds, I've had quite enough of those over the past few weeks, which is difficult for someone like me who really does not like expressing or dealing with emotions.
Since the last time I wrote, a lot has happened. I realize that was only two weeks ago, but it feels like longer, so I'm just going to fill you in.
Publix Savannah Women's Half Marathon. I finished my first half marathon of the year, which was also my first since being on the trial meds. Since I started them, it's been an interesting and difficult ride for me when it comes to running. At the beginning of the year, I set a time goal for this race. I wanted to PR (that's a personal record, in case you're not familiar with the running jargon), and I had a very specific training plan to help me get there. But being on the trial meds made it virtually impossible for me to follow the plan. I wasn't able to get in enough quality runs to actually make noticeable improvements on my time. There were many days, especially in the first few weeks after I started the meds, that I did not feel well enough to get out bed, much less run. And there were many more days where running was a chore I only pushed through because I was determined to at least complete the race and I knew I had to get the miles in. I realized in March that there was just no way I was going to PR in this race, which was incredibly disappointing. I felt really down about myself, but I adjusted my goals and decided to do what I could with what I have, my main goals being to run a consistent pace and finish strong, which I think I did. More importantly, I finished with no mid-race or post-race flare ups! I don't know if that was luck or the meds or both, but I was and am so grateful for that. I'll also take this opportunity to shout out my sister-in-law for being awesome and braving the race with me and hanging with me in Savannah. I really lucked out when I joined the Weaver clan. She also, once again, took the only usable photos of me running (I am notoriously terrible at race photos).
Moving day. We moved exactly one day after I got back from Savannah, so that was bad timing on my part. But I also made it through the move with no flare ups. Don't get me wrong, I took a lot of ibuprofen, because I was having severe cramps a lot of the time (probably my body protesting having to do so much physical labor that soon after a race...), but I did not have to stop helping with the move nor did I have to take prescription pain meds, so that is also good. Unrelated to the trial, but I have to tell you that we absolutely LOVE our new place! We have a screened-in porch that overlooks the lake here, and it is so peaceful. I had to spend some time with my heating pad earlier today, but when I was lying on the couch, I was also able to look outside at the lake and the ducks, and it's just so peaceful, it kind of took my mind off the pain. Then when the pain eased up, I took the dog for a walk and SURPRISE! Turtle party. Sometimes, you just have to appreciate the little things. Today, it was the turtles.
 |  |
I'm usually pretty stone-faced (RBF sisters, UNITE!), but lately, I find myself crying at commercials and all that crap. They have also increased some of my endo symptoms (namely fatigue, cramps, and constant spotting), which has been rough. That combined with all the race day feelings (starting line nerves, fear of having a flare up and being unable to finish, how to deal with the disappointment if I can't finish, general mid-race panic when I realize that I've run eight miles but still have five more to run, the surge of motivation when the finish is near, and finally, the relief and happiness that comes with finishing—you know, your typical race day stuff...) AND THEN the feelings that come with moving out of the first and only place Dave and I have ever lived together (and lived for nine years) has just been a lot to handle. Moving especially got to me, thinking about where we were in life when we moved in together and where we are now and where we have plans to go and the fact that even though this trial has really thrown me (and us) for a loop, Dave is always there reminding me why I am doing this and just being generally understanding and awesome. I know endo is the end of many marriages and relationships, even when it's been there from the beginning as is our case, so I'm just really proud of us. I don't mean that to sound braggy or anything, but dammit, I can be proud!So, anyway, that's where I am. I'm going to credit the trial meds with me having no major flare ups for the past two weeks but also with me being an emotional wreck. Please don't judge me if we're hanging out and I get choked up at something stupid, just give me a minute to get control of myself. Also, maybe pour me a glass of wine.
Until next week.
Yours,
Test Subject 521-002
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