Livin' My Best (Double) Life

Social media is a funny thing, don't you think? I've been thinking lately about how it lets you create almost a double life for yourself—there's the life that you present on social media, be it Facebook, Snapchat, Insta, Twitter, whatever, and then there's your actual life that you lead every day. So, if you have people who follow you on your social media accounts who actually don't know you very well in real life (and let's be real, who doesn't stalk at least one person on Facebook??), you can make your life look like a freaking fairy tale. Or, on the other hand, you can be overly negative and have everyone thinking that your life is falling apart when, in reality, the worst thing that happened to you today was that coffee mug that you didn't need but bought from Amazon anyway was delivered one day later than expected (THE HORROR).

Take me, for example. I try not to be too serious on my various social media accounts. I try to be funny and positive and sarcastic. I post about running because it's important to me. I post about gymnastics because that's my sport. I post memes when I think they're funny and relevant. But I try not to go overboard with any of these things, because seeing the same thing every day gets old. I will get serious from time to time if there's something really, truly on my heart, but, for the most part, I try to make my various social media accounts fun and interesting places to be. Endo causes chronic pain, but I don't post about that every day. I never will. I don't want or need anyone's sympathy on a daily basis. I also don't want people seeing me on their news feed and going, Ugh, this girl again. We get it already! Not to mention, social media can already  be a source of stress; especially since the last election, it seems like people are always at each other's throats. But if you're like me, you just get on Facebook or Insta or Twitter or whatever to zone out, to take a break, to keep up with your friends. You don't want the stress, and you don't want the drama (but you know you'll watch a train wreck when it happens... just sayin'). I don't want to be a contributor to that stress. If your posts stress me out, I will unfriend you or at least unfollow you. It's nothing personal; it's your page, you can post what you want. But my page is also my page, and my news feed is my news feed, and if I don't want to read your overly political, under-researched posts on a daily basis, well, it's not you, it's me. We're breaking up.

What I've come to realize, though, is that the life I present on social media is not really my life at all. It's a version of my life, an edited for content, formatted to fit this screen version of my life, but it's not my actual life. This afternoon was gorgeous and I was feeling mediocre, so I moved my office outside by the pool. This is what you saw on my Snapchat (if you follow me there):

Looks like a pretty sweet gig, right? I work from home. Today, I'm working by the pool. What you didn't see were the hours I spent at my desk this morning, heating pad in my lap, ibuprofen at my side, alternating between actually working and laying my head on my desk because I had work to do but I was in too much pain to do it. Again, not looking for sympathy, just commenting on the general weirdness of social media compared to real life. Because if you only saw my Snapchat and hadn't talked to me today—or if you just saw my Snapchat and you don't know me at all—you'd probably be like, Wow, what an awesome day she's having, because that's my social media life. In my real life, I came out here because the worst of the flare up had passed, and I felt semi-alive again and didn't want to waste what was left of the day. I've sometimes (when I'm not having a flare up) considered taking a pic of me in pain and posting it, but the truth is, when I'm having a flare up, the last thing that enters my mind is Facebook or photos or even my phone. Plus, like I said before, I don't want to be that girl. My social media life is the one I actually aspire to be living. I'm just not there yet.

Just some thoughts. Live your best life, even if you're like me and aspiring to live your social media life.

Until next time.

Yours,

Test Subject 521-002

P.S. Just wanted y'all to know that this exists. You're welcome.